Have a conversation about fatherhood with someone you trust

They don’t teach ‘Dad’ in school,
but lessons can be learned from others.

Unfortunately, I lost my Dad when I was 20. I was 29 when I became a Dad
so my point of reference or frame for learning was quite limited in terms of
what I could get from within the family. I couldn’t just pick up the phone and
ask what to do when they cry like this, how to support the wife when she has
her struggles, what to do when you feel on edge when they’re up coughing
all night.

Nor could I speak openly to my friends and social circles. I mean I probably
could, but I didn’t feel I could speak to them about the countless issues that
would arise.

I’d turn to the local health service and wait for support and guidance about
what it meant to be a Dad and what the role of Dad is in a modern setting.
They too were quite hopeless, offering supporting only to how the mother
would need support, not a mention of Dad.

They don’t teach Dad in school. It’s a huge gap and something I retrospectively
try to explore and learn as the kids grow.

Find someone you trust. Speak to them and make agreements and
expectations about what is expected of you as a Dad.