Reflect upon your own coping mechanisms and see how healthy they are in the short and long term

It’s only a couple of beers a night, it’s my reward for a hard days’ work.

When I found myself having a busy day and struggling to spin all the plates
that needed spinning I couldn’t wait to just get home, get to the fridge, grab
a beer and stick some rubbish food in the oven. It relaxed me. But this was
simply a coping mechanism that allowed me to switch off from the stresses I
was facing; I hadn’t taken any time to check in with my mental health and see
which techniques might actually help.

Coping mechanisms can become real crutches for us and often they can be
made up of really unhealthy habits – alcohol, porn, gambling, poor diets.
I wanted to challenge myself and make sure I wasn’t picking up a bad habit
of drinking every night as my reward. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a beer in a
sociable setting and do like to come back of an evening and enjoy a beer or a
wine with the Mrs or with my dinner after the kids are in bed. But I wanted to
know I was doing it from enjoyment and not from a reliance, dependence or
coping mechanism for something more deep rooted.

So I challenged myself to go alcohol free just for a week or so, just to ensure
it wasn’t something more sinister than enjoyment. It’s easy isn’t it to slip in to
bad habits that then prevent us going to the gym, for being present with the
kids or that make us more connected to our loved ones.

I added some more healthy coping mechanisms too; walking, transitions,
gym and football were all included in my ‘blow off steam’ list.

I might still have a beer in an evening now, but I’m happy to know it’s still in
my control and it is solely for the purpose of enjoyment and nothing more.