We were on holiday near Estepona, Spain, in that beautiful in-between place where time slows down, you know the feeling – late breakfasts, flip-flops, the buzz of nothing urgent. It was one of those simple afternoons, walking back from the pool, when I looked down and saw our shadows stretching across the path (see the picture below!). Mine… and right beside it, my eldest’s.
He was walking so close we had almost become one shape. I stopped and took a photo.
“Look at that,” I said, laughing. “You really are my shadow.”
It was just a joke at the time. But later, sitting outside our apartment, I looked at the photo again and felt something shift.
He is my shadow.
And I love it.
There’s something deeply moving about realising that your child is following you — not just physically, but emotionally, energetically, spiritually. Not because they have to. But because they want to.
They look to us not just for guidance, but for permission.
For cues. For how to be in the world.
And that awareness — while humbling — is also a powerful invitation. An invitation to show up better. To be more intentional. Not perfect. Just present.
The Real Work of Being a Dad
What no one tells you before you become a parent is that your children will reveal things in you that you didn’t even know needed work. They reflect back your tone, your habits, your patience (or lack of it), your consistency, your energy — all of it.
And that can either feel like a weight…
Or it can feel like the greatest opportunity of your life.
Parenthood has been my mirror, my teacher, and sometimes my reckoning.
So I’ve started asking myself more often: What do I want them to see in me?
Not what I want them to achieve, but what I want them to absorb from how I live.
These are the qualities I hope they witness in my actions, not just my words:
👉 Respect – for others, for myself, and for the world around me. Even when it’s hard. Especially then.
🔥 Ambition – not at the cost of kindness, but rooted in growth and purpose.
⚡ Energy – used with intention, not thrown around chaotically.
💛 Empathy and care – for their feelings, for others’ stories, for how we treat people in the small moments.
🌱 Gratitude for what we have – paired with the courage to want more, and go after it with integrity.
It’s Not Easy. But It’s Worth It.
Let’s be honest: it’s not always easy to hold yourself to a higher standard when you’re tired, stretched, distracted, or unsure. There are days where showing up “well” feels like climbing a mountain.
But those are often the most important days to do it anyway.
Our kids don’t need flawless dads.
They need honest ones. Present ones. Ones who try again when they get it wrong.
And when I look back on that photo now, I don’t just see two shadows on a Spanish pavement.
I see legacy. I see connection. I see the silent but strong link between a father and a son. A moment that says, without words: “I’m here. I see you. Let’s walk this together.”
To My Kids, Thank You
This isn’t just a message to them about who I want to be.
It’s also a message for them:
Thank you.
For showing me where I still need to grow.
For making me care deeper, love harder, and think more clearly about what really matters.
For making me want to be a better man, because you’re watching — and I’m proud that you are.
To Other Dads, Keep Going
If you’re a dad reading this — or someone in any kind of role model position — know this:
👣 Your shadow matters.
They’re watching.
Not for you to be perfect, but to be present.
To be someone who shows that being human is okay — but so is striving to be better.
So here’s to walking forward with purpose.
Here’s to setting an example that isn’t about pressure, but about presence.
Here’s to raising good humans… by becoming one ourselves.
Because one day, that little shadow beside us will cast his own.
And maybe, just maybe, someone will call him their shadow — and he’ll smile, knowing where it all began.
